I teach kids, therefore I drink.

Some interesting pupils around at school.
Exhibit A
I could hear the sound of something repeatedly bashing against metal earlier this week. A colleague came in, explained there was a pupil repeatedly headbutting a locker and asked 'What do I do about this?'. Senior management were quite happy that we 'leave him to it'. He was encouraged to find something more wholesome to do and since has been seen wandering around school with a huge red welt on his forehead.
Exhibit B
There was a fictional pupil last year. Although the set lists were checked to make sure this name wasn't wasn't some obscure form of child cruelty: Mike Oxbig.